I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
