you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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