Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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