We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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