Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
