she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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