yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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