Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
