how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
