Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
