Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
