I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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