And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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