And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize