You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
