Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
