Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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