Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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