Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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