It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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