Welp...herpes.
This house was built for laser tag.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
