I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
