Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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