why do cheetos always look like penises
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
