Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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