Don't you send me to vm
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
