He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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