just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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