we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think I have vodka in my lungs
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
