He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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