Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
