I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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