obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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