I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
