I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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