There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
