I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
