thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
