Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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