i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
