you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
