The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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