I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
wow bdsm is so cute
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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