lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
