can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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