Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
