Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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