bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
