Dual....:-)
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
