I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
