hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize