it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
