did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
false alarm. still invincible.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
