I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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