he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize