So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
