I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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