You're a womanizer and a bitch.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
