physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
