I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize