whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize