i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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