I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
