She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
