Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
