I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
